Wake up fresh ready for a promising day visiting the snowy mountains
Bus sets off drive for three hours
Notice burning smell
Tour guides ignore, continue on
Smoke begins rising from the bonnet
Evacuate bus, presume engine has overheated
20 mins later back on bus, ignoring burning rubber stench and likely explosion building
We stop, again
Tour guide looks inside engine to discover corn belt has melted/snapped
We have broken down 30 minutes in both direction to the nearest towns
Tour guides decides to move bus a few metres down the road towards a “pretty brook”
Failing to notice the rotting kangaroo carcass which is now metres from the bus which lets off a ferrel stench every time a car drives past
Instead of our fulfilled day taking a ski lift up the snowy mountains taking in stunning views, we are sat by a dead kangaroo in 34 degree heat, at a place named “wolf creek”
(Ellie and Debbie had not seen the film wolf creek which destroyed Australian tourism for a decade, if they had they may of reconsidered their next move)
They attempt to walk to the next town leaving the tour group
Walk 30 mins down a deserted road
Initial bravery begins to break.
The sound of crickets is now replaced with howling wolves
Ellie and Debbie pelt back to bus petrified
Dive onto the bus exclaiming their near death experience being eaten by wolves.
The story is somewhat ruined when the Norwegian pipes up with ‘it would of been dingos’
Silent. Scowl at Norwegian
Tour guide has been gone three hours to find recovery lorry
It’s very hot no food no water
Norwegian being annoyingly European an optimistic puts on a swimming costume an heads for brook
Watch her leap down grass verge.
She ran like a pigeon.
It’s now been 6 hours
We see the recovery lorry
Sadly the Norwegian also hears it an comes bounding back.
Take seats on new bus, listening to it go on and on about the brook
Shut up. You stink of swamp
Reach snowy mountains.
It’s to late to do anything
Spend sleepless night staring at the randomly placed cockroach traps around dorm room.