#11 Sydney was embarrassing

Arrive in Sydney

Wish farewell to our tour group, and the biggest waste of $400

Find hostel

Meet room mates

2 French men, whose English stretches as far as our French

This is going to be painful

Awkwardly ‘act’ out our trip

They nod politely, seem friendly

Unpack bags

Turn around

Just because we can’t understand your words, does not mean your hand signs are also lost in translation

The Frenchman stops cupping his chest area

Debbie has daily child nap

Head to Bondi

Decide they obviously hire actors for Bondi rescue, as a life guard practically using his surfboard as a zimmerframe cripples past

Arrogantly slap sun scream on

Wake up 2 hours later


Attempt to turn thick towels into surong to hide the shame

Falls down numerous times as we sprint kicking sand on all the perfectly tanned olive skinned goddess’s

Head back to hostel

Bump into 2 friends from university

Get invited out for drinks at the Opera bar

Leave hostel at 9

Loose memory at 10

Debbie wakes up in a four poster bed, private balcony ensuite

Admires her good fortune

Meanwhile Ellie wakes up in a 5 year olds bed

We head downstairs

The boys explain, how Debbie passed out legs spread on the sofa while they witnessed Ellie consume an entire cucumber in under 5 minutes

Harpers finest


Throw up in Macdonalds

Blow $800 on iPads

Decide they will be vital for when we head to the outback

Book flights to Emerald, QLD

(There was no wifi – spent $800 to play on photo booth for the following two months, as this seems to be the only app that does not need Internet)



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