Conversing With A Distant Relative

Hi Auntie …? (who are you, why are you talking to me – are we even related)

Yeah, I’m really good thanks just living in London (barely existing). I’m really glad that I went travelling before entering into a career as it opened my eyes to so much more (I visited one temple, my eyes were closed for 90% of the time tanning on a beach) It helped me become more independent  (I made a carrot cake the other day on my own,  it melted)

I’ve had a few jobs since I moved to London (I had 10 jobs last year) this has helped me realise what I want to be (the royal baby)  

I love that I can see my friends and explore the culture (I’ve been to Harry Potter world three times this year, I don’t have any friends) It can be a little expensive but I’m getting by (I can’t afford to eat and considered a job as a prostitute)

At the moment I’m not seeing anyone as I just want to focus on myself (no one will date me, my last tinder date blocked me) But I really enjoy the freedom freelancing has given me (I can’t afford to leave my flat, if I did I would probably be sectioned for playing with a puppet in public)

I keep myself busy with my blog about lifestyle and love (I just finished a video of two puppets bumming eachother) London is definitely the place to be for a young professional (I belong in Swindon)


But enough about me (please leave me alone) how are things with you?


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