#2 The Nice Guy

Where we met: Tinder

Attraction:
12386807_10209019463389974_1099059537_n

Date: “I had all my haircut off when I moved up to London”.

for_fucks_sake_jimmy_carr

We both lived in the South West so decided to meet locally: “There’s a nice bar called “The Grove” which is near both of us” – “Awesome, I’ll see you there” (and didn’t look up the location but decided to guess).

Housemate: “Who is it this evening” – “oh I dunno, he seems nice” – “that’s good, makes a change! Have you washed?”
12387814_10209019463469976_1782461296_n

I headed out the house and decided, as it was such a Chritmasy winters evening I would walk up to Clapham Common (a two mile trek from my home in Balham). I was feeling really good about myself for walking and messaged my date to let him know I was arriving:

“Hey, I’m here at Clapham Common?”

“What you doing there? The bar is in Balham”

(And went immediately back to hating myself ).


I met my date and we walked to the bar: “It’s crazy, we must of passed eachother and not even noticed” – “yeah mental” (the physical attraction must really be there) and ordered our drinks (I was exhausted and stank, so couldn’t be bothered to impress) “I’ll have a pint of the cheapest lager” but my date seemed impressed, “I’ll have the same” and we smiled at each other adoringly.

12358483_10209019463309972_1518716457_n

We took our seats and discussed his recent move to London. He asked me about myself, interest, hobbies and aspirations (and didn’t ask me to pay for the drinks, stick his penis in my fart box or have sex with my housemate).
12388050_10209019492350698_400025485_n And then (I put a stop to it) I asked about his tinder experiences: “You’re my first, you?” – “I’ve had a couple (a million) I’m a good marker, it can only get better”.

He laughed…
Zan8V61

(I don’t know how to communicate with nice boys) and got the third round of pints in.


Usually after one pint I’m pretty drunk (but after three pints I might as well have taken ketamine). The night was drawing to a close and I was beginning to loosen up (“I do smoke, make me a rolly. I was talking bollocks earlier”).

“Where do you want to go now?” – “It’s quite late, probably home?”

“Shall I come too?”

12366982_10209019537951838_1622034876_n


We got back to his (and didn’t fornicate but instead) decided to watch something, it was quite late so went for an easy film (“I want to watch Titanic”)  “It’s 2am. I’ve got a big presentation tomorrow, can we just watch Family guy?” (and the 27 year old child before him had a mammoth tantrum).

“I WANT TO WATCH TITANIC. NOW.”
BOO

So he popped on my film (“Christ fine. I’ll put it on”) and he fell into a deep slumber by my side, as I swayed to the sounds of the ocean (“Can you please stop kicking?!!”).

vi87q

 

 

 

 

One Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s