#12 The Finale

How we met: We hadn’t

Attraction: My friend fancied his friend, Jake.
“Debbie, you owe me.”
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I arrived home after the most wonderful date of the year and was greeted by my friend, Sarah.

“I want to go out.”
“Sarah it’s 10pm?!”

“You have spent an entire year stealing my clothes, eating my food and barking the roof down with your fake orgasms. This is happening.”
….
“Yeah, that’s fair.”
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It was the last weekend before Christmas and we were so excited to celebrate together!

WE’RE BOTH GONNA GET LAID
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Sarah entered the club:

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With me just behind…
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We popped to the bar to get a drink and Sarah caught a male’s attention and began chatting, then he turned to me: “Hey, how are the 12 dates going?”

SARAH!! People know me…

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“Debbie, that’s the guy I was telling you about, I was meant to set you up with him (he’s friends with Jake – don’t be weird).”
“Oh, of course – I was only kidding.”
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He was a little (A LOT) shorter than me (“Sarah, I can’t stand next to him anymore” – “Oh don’t be silly”) and it didn’t help that I had chosen to wear heels (“I LOOK LIKE THE GREEN FUCKING GIANT!”). We chatted for a bit, whilst I looked over (scowled) at Sarah who had bumped into Jake (a 6″2 ex olympian). Then I quickly popped out for some air.

20 minutes later…

“Debbie what are you doing?!”
“Just chilling with my new friend, Mike.”
“Debbie your “date” is inside”
“But I’m networking?”
“Giving a guy your number is not networking.”
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I came back inside when something (-one) caught my eye. The male was also friend’s with Jake (and a 6″4 personal trainer: “Sarah, have you seen that guy?!” – “Don’t you dare“.) I had a few more drinks then introduced myself and we were soon howling! (It’s amazing how my conversational skills go from Martian to Oxford graduate with just a few extra inches).

I pulled Sarah to one side:
“I really fancy that one.”
DEBBIE NO.

“Try and stop me!”
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The night came to an end but Sarah and I were keen to keep the party going. (“Debbie, how do we invite them back?” – “Got it covered.”)

“House party back at mine. I’ve booked a taxi – only seats four.”

(“Subtle…”)
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We arrived home and the party (train wreck) began. Sarah and her date retreated to bed relatively early (after I got the party started with some hip, really current tunes.)

It’s Disney, BITCH!
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But then I started to feel dizzy
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My date was worried and carried me to the sofa.

(“Maybe I should go stay in the other room?”)

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We kissed and said goodnight.

(“NO DEBBIE!!!YOU’RE TOO DRU-“)
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He woke me the following day (and the bipolar kicked in.)

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“Debbie I need to get a train – can I have your number?”
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“Let me put my number in your phone. My batteries died.”

I added the new contact then handed over my mobile, he briefly paused then looked up.

MY NAME’S NOT JOHN?!!

I panicked but managed to remain composed and handle the situation like a mature adult.

….

wdwb4

 

 

 

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