An evening of miniature golf with UV lighting, alcohol and a few uncomfortable hole in one puns – the perfect setting for any double date!
Just couple of swingers looking for a good time…
I began this year downloading every dating app available in the 21st century (life) and came across “Double” – here you can invite a friend to be your partner and swipe as a pair to double date.
My friend Merryn and I came across two lovely chaps who seemed willing. (“Debbie just have a normal conversation” – “What do you mean “normal”?!” – “STOP TELLING PEOPLE I LIKE INTERACTING WITH MY AUDIENCE ON BABESTATION”)
So we began our normal (boring) conversation asking questions about when they were free for a date and what “activity” they fancied doing and came to the conclusion of Crazy Golf. Unfortunately my competitive nature is sometimes too much to conceal.
2 days later they replied.
“NO MORE USING THAT EMOJI”
“I don’t even know what it means…”
The date was arranged. I found my best golfing outfit (knee high socks, skirt which could be mistaken for pants and visor) and headed out to meet Merryn:
“What the fuck are you wearing?”
“I knew you’d love it – I’ve got you a visor too!”
“Just cover up your vagina.”
We had a few drinks before the boys arrived (4 pints) and they entered…
“Rob is mine.”
“Can we just get to know them first?”
“I know enough.”
We arrived at Plonk in Dalston – I’d booked the places for everyone so mentioned I would need the money back.
Merryn was struggling a little – so I coached her round to save her from embarrassing herself any further:
“…Just give it a bit of spin, this sport is very similar to tennis-”
“YOU HAVEN’T PLAYED TENNIS IN 15 YEARS”
“Anyway Debbie you’re shite as well!”
…But by this time I only had my eye on one hole (my own) and the love (eighth pint) took hold.
We headed to a club nearby and carried on the party.
“Debbie, I’ve got to be up so early tomorrow – I know this is all part of your plan.”
“What plan? Stop being selfish Merryn and come on.”
30 minutes later…
Cost: £7.50 per person (and almost terminating a friendship of 15 years.)
“Babe, what would you give this date out of 10?”
“Well the golf was fun so probably an 8 or a 9, you however-”
9 out of 10!
“I’m late for work and hungover to hell – what do you want?”
Get your Plonk! on here: www.plonkgolf.co.uk