This Is Why You’re Single

On Paper:

The dream of every writer, to receive an email from a real publisher and to finally be taken seriously.

So long danger…

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In Reality:

I received an email and (arrogantly) showed it to my housemate:

“Laura, you seen this…”
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“What Debbie, I’m busy.”

“Just got an email from a top publishing company requesting my professional expertise to review one of their books.”

“Oh that’s actually quite cool. What’s it called?”

Then I saw the book.

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“Debbie what is it called?”

 

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“LOL! Never know – you might learn something…”

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This Is Why You’re Single – The Review

(Things I’ve learnt…)

It’s written by the comedy duo Laura Lane and Angela Spera.

Laura is a comedy writer for ESPN, Vanity Fair, Esquire, a former Editor at OK!, In Touch, graduated from the University of California where she won a Rolling Stones magazine’s college journalism contest and has a really hot husband.

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…Angela suffered a quarter life crisis and decided to sack off her degree to pursue comedy. She recently promoted a band consisting solely of gynecologists and struggles on Tinder for being a bit fridged.

We like Angela.

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The book takes a very honest view into dating for the 21st Century, from the initial courting:

“Snapchat a picture of your udders”

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To future conversations with grandchildren:

“How did you meet Gramps?”

“Stuck my thumb on his face and swiped right.”

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It takes away the usual lies seen in dating books, and gives a more realistic approach to what the path of true love actually looks like:

“…It will be lined with a lot of dick pictures.”

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Whilst also re-evaluating your current method to attract males:

“Birds of a feather shouldn’t always flock together. Women think going out with their hot friends will make them hot by association. Not true.”

Bolllocks…

“Laura – you need to move out. We can’t be friends anymore.”

“WHY?”

“Just get out.”

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The book oozes confidence in relatable decisions you have to make while dating; like when is the right time to sleep with a new partner and that one night stands are acceptable if it feels right (or if it feels hairy and you panic shave with his razor):

“You need to own these decisions – it’s up to you when it’s the time to have sex (…he’ll never know).”

One week later:

“Laura, it really hurts when I wee.”

“I don’t care, go away Deb-”

“Babe I think I’ve shaved off my clitoris.”

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Throughout the book there are hilarious tales of dating disasters that all end with a moral:

“Actions speak louder than labels, there are alternatives to call your other half if he shys away from the boyfriend label…”

 

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With really insightful quizzes:

Are you dating a manchild?

1) What is your favourite part of your girlfriends body?

a) Her beautiful, soulful eyes.
b) The way her hair gently falls onto her perfect, silky shoulders.
c) TIT-TAYS”

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And fun games:

“The Disaster Date Game:

– Drink a shot of whiskey everytime he mentions his six figure salary.

– Shoot heroin in your eyeball if you get stuck with the bill.”

Date: “Debbie can you get this?”

“No…”
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The book makes a refreshing change to the bullcrap most singletons have to suffer through:

“If he’s not talking to you – just give him space, men need time to understand their emotions…”

The book tells it how it is:

“If he doesn’t reply – pretend he never existed.”

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The only drawback is reading a book entitled “This is why you’re single” but easy fix – pop a cover over it.

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This Is Why You’re Single – or is it?  Find out here.

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