The iFLY Date

On Paper:

Where the dream of flight becomes a reality! Every flyer has a chance to earn their ‘Wings’. Flyers from 3 to 103 years and can experience the thrill of indoor skydiving at iFLY…

In Reality:

“DD, I’m a Captain in the army – so while base jumping might be a bit much how do you feel about indoor skydiving?”

The Date:

“Dangerous! Code red at basecamp has pushed back my arrival time to 14:00 hours. I’ve spoken with head office – you can go on ahead for the safety video.”

I entered iFLY and headed towards the reception:

“Afternoon Mr Receptionist – I believe you’ve spoken with the Captain, We have a reservation for the iFLY session at 14:00?”

“Have you got a name?”

“Yeah it’s Debbie.”

“No – I mean  ‘The Captain’s’ first name?”

“Oh… ‘The?

“How about his date of birth?”

“When was Pearl Harbour?.”

I could see the receptionist questioning my booking – I had to think fast…

“He definitely called earlier and spoke to someone from head office – I think his name was…


“Ah, perfect.”

“Paul – this lady says you’ve spoken to a The ‘Captain’ today?”

“Yes – he’s just en route, she can go on to the safety video,”

I ran up the stairs to be greeted by the ‘wind tunnel’ and my defiance moments before was quickly replaced with …

I walked into my safety briefing surrounded by families, as a gentleman in full skydiving gear was doing the register…

“So, we’ve got the Hamilton’s?”

“The Richardson’s”

“And … Debbie?”

The instructor left the room leaving us to watch a short safety video. I kept looking from the floor to the door praying my date would arrive soon. But then a different instructor re-entered

“Hey Flysquad…”

“Right does everyone know their hand gestures now after watching the safety video?”

“Awesome – now all follow me through here and we’ll get you in your flying gear.

We entered the backroom and got in a line where they were handing out our uniforms – when my date finally came rushing through…

“Sorry for the delay Dangerous.”

“It’s no bother Captain, Carl saved the day”

“Who’s Carl?”

His eyes turned to ice as he faced his opponent at the front of the queue…

“So, you must be Carl”

“And you must be “The Captain” – what size will you be needing for your helmet”

“I’ll need a large helmet.”

“That’s the only large you’ll be needing Captain…”

“Yes. Because I obviously have a very small penis Carl.”

We all sat around the air vent – my date still eyeing up Carl as he took each flyer in to give them a spin, but then it was my turn…

“You feeling ok Debbie?”

“I feel the need for speed Carl.”

He wrapped his arm round my body and it began slow…

“You ok Debbie?”

But then came the ‘speed’…



Which put an end to things as the parents watched on horrified

I got thrown out the door hyperventilating and re-took my seat as my date took his position in the air vent alone.

Carl: “You sure you don’t need any help Captain?’

The Captain did a few laps of the air vent unsupervised and flew out with ease past the instructor….

And then it was time for my second go…

And up we flew…



I returned to my seat feeling so blessed, barely noticing my date doing a triple back screw double somersault and leaving the wind tunnel…

And he was more than up for the challenge…

Then he accidentally flew into my window…

After the session, Carl came over to hand out (nearly) everyone’s  certificates…

“Sorry Captain – no certificates for ‘intermediates’…”

“And Debbie, apologies for making you jump at the end there – I was just trying to ‘wing’ it.”



Dangerous Rating:


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