The Ghost Tour Date

On Paper:

A comedy horror show while you see the sights. The Ghost Bus is the perfect way to experience the UK’s most haunted cities…

In Reality:

“Charlie, you know you invited my two best friends to be models for a swimwear shoot and said I could come along as a background prop?”

“Yeah?”

“To apologise do you fancy taking me on a date to a ghost bus tour?”

The Date

We took our seats in the middle of the bus – ignoring the 6’8 man struggling to fit on his

And set off as the bus conductor took the reigns…

“Welcome fellow ghostbusters, I hope this evening finds you well…because it will not end the same…”

“…And I beg you to keep your wits about you – for this vessel you are sat on is no normal bus – it is one of the oldest funeral buses around…”

“Which also means there are no toilets because dead people don’t need them.”

The bus engine roared and we pulled off…

And then promptly stopped.

“Off to a great start guys – red light…”

But the conductor managed to keep everyone smiling.

“…I can promise we will stop at every one of these in the city.”

We knew this wasn’t going to be the typical bus tour, but a few minutes in the conductor started to really give the tour his own spin on historical landmarks.

“There’s a naked little gold guy with his bits out.”

“And just coming up on the right is St Bartholomew’s Hospital where Mel Gibson was hung in 1305”

“And here is one London’s most famous historical landmarks. Cameras at the ready!”

We continued to drive down the route – still having seen no ghosts but not hugely bothered as we had the most entertaining tour guide ever.

“If anyone needs a dick pic…”

The whole bus was in great spirits, but then someone else jumped on and all we could hear was yelling coming from the downstairs-

“NO YOU MUST NOT GO UP THERE – YOU MUST NOT DISTURB THEM – THIS IS A PRIVATE TOUR – ”

A man came running up the stairs.

Followed by the conductor who quickly introduced his troubled colleague…

“Everyone this is Mr Hinge he is our Health and Safety inspector, apologies for his behaviour – he’s just come off the bleach”

He tried to direct our attention away from Mr Hinge by having some banter with other passengers…

“So, what’s you name sir?”

“It’s Eric”

“And, where have you come from today Eric?”

“Lithuania.”

Moving on…

But then Mr Hinge began running up and down the bus screaming

“THERE IS A SPIRIT AMONGST US…”

Mr Hinge pulled out the remains of a blood stained rag from under his seat…

“THERE IS DEATH HERE!!”

Whilst the conductor tried to stay level headed.

“IT’S JAM – JUST JAM! EVERYONE REMAIN CALM!”

Then all the lights went off.

Mr Hinge: “HE’S LYING – EVERYBODY GO MENTAL”

Cost:

£23 per person.

Dangerous Rating:

SO DANGEROUS AND SO ENTERTAINING…

www.theghosttours.com 

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