The Craig David Date

On Paper:

Took her for a drink on Tuesday…We were making love by Wednesday…
And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday…

 

In Reality:

“DD, I’ve ordered us matching t-shirts – we don’t want to look stupid in front of Craig.”

“Totally agree.”

The Date

I met my date at 8pm.

And my world crumbled at 8:41pm, because with my great feelings ….

Craig was coming to an end at 8:49pm.

However I had started noticing other things at 8:45pm.

We left the concert at 9pm.

“DEBBIE SERIOUSLY! YOU CAN’T BE ANGRY AT ME FOR DANCING NEXT TO A GIRL!”

I had completely stopped talking to my date by 9:01pm.

My date asked if I wanted to go home at 9:04pm.

I requested to go to the toilet and think about it at 9:05pm.

I waited in the ladies queue at a standstil till 9:08pm.

So I used my initiative 9:10pm.

“MADAME YOU CAN’T GO IN THERE!!”

And I entered the men’s loos at 9:12pm.

I left the men’s and came face to face with my date at 9:14pm.

“What station do you need Debbie?”

We entered the Blues Kitchen at 9:24pm ..

I’d drank the whole bar by 9:44pm.

The truth came out at 9:59pm.

“You know I said I’m not like my blog Andrew -”

“Yeah?”

I ran to the centre of the dance floor and declared my feelings at 10:01pm.

“PUT YOUR TOP BACK ON DEBBIE!”

My date left me alone for one minute on the dance floor at 10:08pm

And he returned at 10:09pm.

“Debbie, were you just getting with another guy?!”

My date stormed out the club at 10:12pm.

“ANDREW IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!”

“HOW?!”

I called him 42 times on his mobile and sought solace on a bouncers shoulder at 10:14pm.

“Madame, I don’t know who Craig is – but you need to go home right now.”

I got escorted out the bar and called my date a further 106 times to collect me at 10:23pm.

He finally answered at 10:31pm.

“Debbie seriously what do you want?”

My date collected me at 10:36pm.

“Honestly, 148 missed calls – this is ridiculous Debbie.”

We reached his home at 10:44pm.

“What the fuck are you doing now?”

He found out why at 10:48pm.

“Who the fuck is Veronica?”

Cost:

Mentally. a lot.

Dangerous Rating:

My date showed me to the door at 10:04am.

“Debbie, it’s time to go home,”

My date made some valid points at 10:05am.

“I basically collected you out of a bin last night, you snogged another guy and spent the whole evening accusing me of flirting with other girls.”

I left at 10:05am.

11 OUT OF 10.

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