The Forbidden Nights Date

On Paper:

Think Cirque du Soleil meets Magic Mike

The Forbidden Nights acts are skilled performers hand-picked from around the UK, possessing the highest level of talent, charisma, appearance and physiques with the personality to match…

In Reality:

“DD. I’m looking for a man this Christmas – can you help? Alex X”

“Why have one Alex…”

The Date

My date and I arrived at the venue…

“It’s so mucky in here Debbie – I love it.”

And took our seats with a bottle of prosecco – expectant…anxious….

The crowds of women filed in. The floor men took to their positions…

And the compere entered the stage…

“Is anyone celebrating their birthday today?”

And my date stood up.

“And is anyone getting married today?”

And I stood up.

“Debbie don’t embarrass yourself.”

“And is anyone getting a divorce today?”

Then my date stood up again.

“Well there’s a first Ladies and Gentleman…”

Compere: “AND ON WITH THE SHOW! HERE’S OUR RESIDENT AUSSIE TO COUNT US IN!”

“AND OUT YOU COME BOYS!”

“Who thinks we need a wash?”

“Do you think we’re still a bit dirty?”

Compere: “IS EVERYONE ENJOYING THEMSELVES?”

“…WELL, WHOSE FAVOURITE POSITION IS REVERSE COWGIRL?”

“YOU BETTER BUCKLE UP THEN PARTNER…”

Compere: “Right Ladies and Gentleman, calm yourself because next we have our ultimate crowd pleaser…”

 

Compere: “A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR BILLY EVERYONE!”

“Billy Blue Eyes would get it. Alex.”

Compere: “AND FINALLY WHO WANTS TO SEE ME GET MY KIT OFF?”

Cost:

Worth every penny and pair of pants.

Dangerous Rating:

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