Conversing With A Distant Relative

Hi Auntie …? (who are you, why are you talking to me – are we even related) Yeah, I’m really good thanks just living in London (barely existing). I’m really glad that I went travelling before entering into a career as it opened my eyes to so much more (I visited one temple, my eyes were closed […]

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#15 Seriously, wear a seatbelt.

Debbie and Ellie find employment at Irish bar down the road But still awkwardly live at ex-employer Russell’s home Every morning is uncomfortable Walk to work in 38 degrees heat Begin cleaning rooms for men who work in mines and serving behind the bar They seem nice Overly nice Get home to find note from […]

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Which “other” friend were you

We can’t all be the most popular, the prettiest, the funniest. But don’t fret, you are a valued member of the group in your own ‘special’ way. See some examples below of the classic ‘other’ friend The one at the school disco sweating in a tracksuit Sporty Spice, Spicegirls The sensible one. You tried to […]

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#14 Fired.

Holidays is spent with Russells’ family They explain the walls of their home used to be infested with snakes Great- next topic. Christmas morning Abbie, Satans sporn, gets a Barbie and calls it Ellie The family find it endearing and look at Ellie with loving eyes Debbie considers hitting a child Makes final attempt to […]

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Why your vagina is a little..

They could be prettier ‘axe wound’, ‘penis fly trap’, ‘beef curtains’ They are high maintenance They have a self-cleaning system Discharge. Spontaneous sex is not an option when a boy whips them off in a frenzy and they fall solid to the ground They are the fun police ‘No seriously stop, I’m going to wet myself, […]

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